Our worship team is reading a book called “The Heart of the Artist”. Once a week, on Sundays, we come together in between our 2 morning services to discuss what God is speaking to us through this book. So far we are only on the first chapter and it is so powerful.
One of the things read that has hit me is that when you’re in ministry, your character will be tested as it’s never been before. Your character will be challenged and stretched to the limit!! I love one of the quotes in this first chapter… “Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation, because your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” The enemy will use whatever or whoever to try to destroy your character! However, the word says to pray for those people.
The book speaks about how David says in Psalms, “I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart”…. Integrity means doing what’s right in God’s eyes. Character is becoming who God made us to be, and integrity is doing what God wants us to do. The Bible describes King Amaziah as a man who “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but not wholeheartedly” In other words, his actions were good but his attitude bad. People can tell when we’re being inauthentic. Being authentic includes being real with our struggles and shortcomings. We all have them.
One of the things that I pray continuously is ….”Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable unto You, Oh God.” and…”Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
It’s not always easy when you are accused of things that you truly know down deep in your heart aren’t true. This seems to happen to those in ministry quite a lot. Just recently I received one of the most heart-rending e-mail messages from someone who I love dearly. The reason that I would even mention this is that maybe someone would read this and be encouraged at what God has spoken through this situation in my life. This person said some really hurtful and mean things and really attacked the ministry that God has graciously given. Not only were these attacks towards me but also to my husband and our 14-year-old daughter. Even though I know these words would not be directed by God because He’s certainly not that way, I have asked Him to search me and make sure that what I do is only for His glory!! Paul tells us to grow and become what God wants us to be. However sometimes we’d rather judge others than evaluate ourselves.
The true test is how we respond to these character testings. This determines whether we will become artists of character and integrity. Testing brings GROWTH! God has spoken to me during this very trying time and what He has said is….Be still and know that I am God!!!! I am learning more and more to be still in Him…knowing that He is the author and finisher of my faith. Him and only Him! It doesn’t matter when people throw stones by words or actions….God is the one who gives and takes away! We can go through the fire and come out as pure gold! Tribulation, or testing, produces perseverance; and perseverance molds our character. I want to possess a Godly character please Him! My desire is to be effective in who God wants me to be whether I am on stage or in the grocery store. That is what He desires!
I’m coming back to the heart of worship and it’s all about HIM!